Today is good

For everyone watching my meltdown this week. I just wanted to say...besides the flat tire on the way to work today...today is going OK. Now if the auto repair shop calls and tells me that it is going to be a $1,000 repair I might loose it. But for now, things are looking up!

What to do with a broken heart?

Listen to sad songs?


Ok, I LOVE KENNY CHESNEY. I LOVE DAVE MATTHEWS. I LOVE THEIR NEW SONG. BUT MAN DOES IT HIT MY HEART THIS WEEK. I honestly can't walk away from the song, I punish myself & blubber while listening to the ENTIRE SONG, EVERY DAMN WORD.


I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Growing up is risky business. Being a Mom is riskier.


Here are the lyrics: Eat your heart out...

So damn easy to say that life’s so hard
Everybody’s got their share of battle scars
As for me I’d like to thank my lucky stars that
I’m alive, and well



It’d be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain
But not me, I’m alive



And today you know that’s good enough for me
Breathin' in and out's a blessin' can’t you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I’m alive, and wellI’m alive, and well



Stars are dancin’ on the water here tonight
It’s good for the soul, when there’s not a soul in sight
But this boat has caught its wind and brought me back to life
Now I’m alive, and well



And today you know that’s good enough for me
Breathin' in and out's a blessing can’t you see
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
Now I’m alive, and well



Yeah I’m alive, and well

How to say goodbye...

With all the excitement of my last post, and how I thought I was 'in the clear' at 9 weeks & pregnant, it is terribly sad for me to say out loud, I have lost the baby.


As my husband is in the next room with football blaring on the TV, so loud I can't even think, or type real feelings. So loud that when I just yelled "hey hun could you turn it down" he snortted his snotty nose at me. I take that as a 'I can't hear you' moment. I HATE FOOTBALL. But this could be an entire post for a different day.


Ah peace. He has put the TV on mute.

So today I am trying to concentrate on peace, quiet & taking a little me time to grieve my baby and look forward to what God has in store for me.

Hello October!

So we’ve been terribly busy! Or have we? I think about my blog often. REALLY OFTEN. And I miss it. It is such a great outlet for so many emotions.

Olivia is in such a fun fun stage right now I can’t stand to pry myself away from her at nights to play on the computer! She is talking. Walking, doing oh so many fun things!
Work has been nuts! I used to use this time to post a little snip of our lives for you all to check out, BUT I have had so little time!

So enough with the excuses…how are all of you?!

Summer was a crazy whirlwind. Can we even call it summer? Between the below average temperatures and chasing a crazy 1 yr old around we were lucky to make it out to the cabin once a month. NOW THIS IS AGAINST OUR RELIGION. In years past, a weekend NOT at the lake was considered wasted time, guilt trip ridden, or possibly being banned from the family. But luckily my family learned that having a little runner around is not as relaxing at the lake with mountainous hills, brick stairs & oh so many ‘ouchies’ waiting to happen!!!

And did I mention we are PREGNANT AGAIN!? J I don’t think I did! Ha I just came out of the closet on Olivia’s Blog!!! 8 weeks and 1 day! Due date tentatively set for May 26th (drum roll please!) dun dun dun…this means I will have THE ENTIRE SUMMER OFF WORK NEXT YEAR!!!! Can I get a “Yee-Haw”?!

As with many things in my life, I chose to take the summer off blogging. Please see this as a ‘norm’. I take Church off in the summer, after work activities off, and blogging! I promise next summer, I will take off too! So I’m back and I hope to have lots of great convos to post up for your wild entertainment!

XOXO, Trish

August Already?

I think I have maybe posted 1 post this entire summer! Craziness! I think I've decided to 'take the summers off'. Sorry for the inconvenience :)

We finally have summer weather, ahhh. It's been in the 80's and we have been loving it! Except for the part then our A/C stopped working for a day...but it's back & running, take that Mr. Sun! (Not that I am complaining, I am a sun baby, I love the heat!)

Things for us are good! Olivia is growing by the second. I have so much to post & am so far behind, where to begin.

This coming weekend Corey, myself, My Dad & Mom/Olivia will be walk/running...for a better term, each participating at various levels in a 5K in Vergas, MN. It is their annual Looney Daze festival and we have been practicing hard! Ok, Olivia has been doing the the mose work for this day...they have a 'Loon Calling Contest' at noon on Saturday. So if you are in the area, my little babe will be participating, oh and did I mention beer gardens open at 11? Convenient I know.

I have pictures & stories to post, maybe this weekend!

I have been watching out for all of you, and hope you continue to have a wonderful summer!

No Time to Say 'Hello'.....'Goodbye'

I'm Late, I'm Late, For a very important Date...no time to say 'Hello'....'Goodbye',
I'm Late, I'm Late, I'm Late, I'm Late, IIII'MMMMM
Overdue, I'm in a Rabbit Stew....

Do you often have theme songs running through your head at any moment of your day? I do...for instance EVERY SINGLE MORNING when running late I have the above song in my head...Thanks to one of my all time favorite movies Alice in Wonderland!

When I'm getting grief at work or from a close friend (or husband) I often have:
Give me a break, Give me a break, break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat-Bar
*No wonder I over indulge in Chocolate!

When I was younger & would get grounded or yelled at I would often get a great tune by Salt N' Peppa in my head I always wanted to sing to my parents: "What's the matter with your life, why you gotta mess with mine, don't keep frontin' what I do, cause I'm gonna be just fine...."
Yes as it seems, no matter what the circumstance I can find some terribly annoying song to hum along to in my head!

Today I have "I'm Sorry....So Sorry......" for not posting more this summer!!!

What's going on with us? IT'S LAKE SEASON! AND THE SUN IS SHINING! IT'S WARM OUT, MY GARDEN IS GROWNING!

Olivia is talking, walking & so much fun. Everytime she progresses I say 'This is my favorite age'...and it's true. Then I see a baby, like at Scheel's last night who was probably 3 months old and say 'aw...that was my favorite age'...

We purchased a camper about a month ago! A little popup, just big enough for my small little family! I can't wait to go 'real' camping but for now we are pretending to have our own little 'bunk house' at my families cabin!

For you on-lookers, here are a few pics! Hope all is well with everyone, as bad as I have been with updating you, I have been WORSE at checking in on you all! I miss you!


Chasing Belle on her leash...

Hanging out in the porch at the lake!

Climbing up the dock after a fun boatride

Bathtime fun! Cheese!

Prayers for Paityn

I know I have mentioned Baby Paityn in pervious posts. She is a little gal from Olivia's Daycare with a SERIOUS liver disease. Basically her liver will not filter out the bad stuff, so her skin is very yellow, her eyes even yellower & she has been living between the Ronald McDonald house and Children's Hospital in Minneapolis for MONTHS. Her parents have both lost or quit their jobs due to her illness & last week they closed on their home in Fargo. So when they get out, they will be homeless & jobless!

The transplant team told the family that Memorial Weekend is one of the top weekends for transplants because of all the accidents & deaths around the country. So keep your family safe this weekend. It's scary to think of this fact for the rest of us & pray for a new liver for Paityn at the same time. She should have had the transplant months ago but she continues to fight infections & is not big enough according to the docs. They say it will be way to hard to find a liver 'her size' because she is so tiny (due to stunted growth because her body doesn't take in the nourishment she needs).

I wanted to share their last couple of updates with you. Please PLEASE keep this baby in your prayers. She needs a fighting chance, and the poor thing has been fighting so hard. We are sending off another shipment of toys to her today. I can't imagine my baby being cooped up with the same toys in a small room, so daycare and some people we know try to rally together toys & fun things for them to play with, and donate to the Ronald McDonald House when they are done.

Anyway...here are the posts from the past few days....

Sunday, May 17, 2009 11:45 AM, CDT
Well our hospital stay is not going at all like we thought it would. Paityn was doing so good the first night there that we thought we would be out in 48 hours when her blood cultures came back. However, that is not at all what happened. Yesterday morning when mommy showed up (mommy and daddy switch off nights at the hospital since she is such a bad sleeper) she found daddy holding Paityn and she was just in her diaper. Then was shocked and terrified at what she saw. When I looked at her bed it was covered in blood. Paityn threw up blood everywhere. It was the scariest thing I have ever seen. With Paityns liver failing it can cause varices in her esophagus which can break open and bleed into her stomach which is what the doctors think is happening. We got transferred over to the PICU yesterday and she got a blood transfusion and put on a med that will hopefully stop the bleeding. The doctors are really hoping this med does the trick because otherwise they have to scope her and they don't like to do that on kids under 1 yrs of age and they think she is too small for the procedure. She hasn't thrown up again but she has had some bloody stools so that is not a good sign. Lets just keep our fingers crossed that the bleeding stops and we get to get out of the ICU tomorrow. Thank you all so much for your continued love and support.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009 9:26 PM, CDT
We got out of the PICU yesterday and are back in 5B. Paityn is doing great! It looks like her bleeding has stopped. They started her NJ tube feedings back up today and she seems much more comfortable with her belly full. The doctors think that she is stable and as long as her night goes good that the will release us back over to the RMH tomorrow. We know that it is only a matter of time until she starts bleeding again we are just hoping and praying that we get the call before that happens. In fact Jason, Paityn, and I have all done a liver dance today in hopes that we will get the call!! You may all feel free to make up your own liver dance and do it for Paityn. Thank you all again so much for all of your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. You have no idea how much you all mean to us.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009 5:10 PM, CDT

Looks like I spoke to soon last night. Paityn had another throwing up blood episode this morning an hour before we were going to be discharged. So it looks like she is still bleeding somewhere. There aren't too many options for us to prevent the bleeding and none of them are proven to work. Paityn is going to be scoped tomorrow afternoon to try and find out where she is bleeding from. She could be bleeding from her esophagus, her stomach, her intestines, or it could even have a bleeding ulcer. So we won't know what to do until tomorrow. Paityn has been surprisingly in a very good mood today despite what has happened. We are having a very hard time getting her to sit still in our little room. She also turned 10 months old today which is turning out to be very fun age. She truly is an amazing little girl and we are so proud to be her parents. Keep fighting my beautiful baby. We are so happy that you all have been supporting the liver dance. Keep on dancing your little hearts out. Its going to work!!! Also, thank you all so much for all of your continued love and support. You all are so amazing and we are blessed to have you in our lives. Looks like I spoke to soon last night. Paityn had another throwing up blood episode this morning an hour before we were going to be discharged. So it looks like she is still bleeding somewhere. There aren't too many options for us to prevent the bleeding and none of them are proven to work. Paityn is going to be scoped tomorrow afternoon to try and find out where she is bleeding from. She could be bleeding from her esophagus, her stomach, her intestines, or it could even have a bleeding ulcer. So we won't know what to do until tomorrow. Paityn has been surprisingly in a very good mood today despite what has happened. We are having a very hard time getting her to sit still in our little room. She also turned 10 months old today which is turning out to be very fun age. She truly is an amazing little girl and we are so proud to be her parents. Keep fighting my beautiful baby. We are so happy that you all have been supporting the liver dance. Keep on dancing your little hearts out. Its going to work!!! Also, thank you all so much for all of your continued love and support. You all are so amazing and we are blessed to have you in our lives.